Bil Vargas

The Aphasiac Man

"Bil's Brain"

Introduction

What is an aphasiac? It looks or sounds as an unpleasant word, as if it is a sexual disease like gonorrhea. Or is it an alien who arrived on a UFO?

The first time I heard "aphasia" I thought I had a killing disease since I was in a hospital, especially since I couldn't understand what they were saying. To me they may have been speaking doctor language, or Japanese, Chinese or Greek. Yet I knew I was in America and I knew they spoke English, but I couldn't understand a damn thing.

I knew I had just had a brain operation a few days ago to clip an aneurysm, but otherwise I was lost. People came to see me, but I couldn't remember who they were or their names or where they came from. It's like my aneurysm.

Where did my aneurysm come from? I suppose I was born with it. It just took 51 years for it to wake up. I can remember that I was lucky that we found it before it was ready to burst and having a cerebral hemorrhage. The sad part was that two days after the operation I had a stroke, and worse, the aphasia. I still don't know where the stroke came from.

I could remember a few days before my operation, talking to my neurosurgeon, asking what were my choices to have the operation or not. If I had the operation, I had fifty-fifty to survive, otherwise without it, I may die within two weeks to three months.

I also asked him what could happen to me after the operation if it was successful. Will I be able to walk, see, or the most important thing to me, to read, to write or speak. He didn't know. The brain is an organ that they don't understand. It's like a cave with billion trails.

No wonder why I always loved caves. Take a trail to a bestseller or a flop. I got a big flop. When I got aphasia, I was NOT able to speak, read or write at all! The speech pathologist and doctors thought I would never again be able to do those things, I may have become a vegetable.

Except that my old neurosurgeon, whom I guess he liked me, told me I was smart and I could do whatever I wanted to do, just have to keep working on my own. He was right.

I have heard from caregivers about aphasiacs and other brain injury survivors, that they won't do anything at all, they live with depression and become vegetables or think of doing a suicide. So what I say to aphasiacs and other brain injury people is to wake up and learn everything again; you may have been a genius and now a dumb, but listen to me. "Delete depression and say hello to laugh again."

I did that and I am still living. Still can't speak well, but hey, I am reading and writing!

There are four parts of my homepage. Part I includes my story and a photo essay; Part II is my new after-aphasia writings; Part III is my photography, and Part IV is more information abount aneurysms, brain strokes and aphasia through links.

So I hope you will enjoy my story and my homepage that it may help you.

ABOUT STROKES A forward about strokes and aphasia from Arthur S. Freese book "Stroke: The New Hope and the New Help"

Part I - Learning Again

Before, my I.Q. was 157, then immediately it went down to 8, from a brain aneurysm operation taking a detour through a stroke into the aphasia road.

BIL'S STORY A sad tragic comedy with full of life.

A BRAIN'S GALLERY A nightmare photo essay.

Part II - Writings

ABOUT WRITING What can be the worst thing when you love to read and write and then get aphasia, unable to understand a simple word?

KING OF DOMINOES King of Dominoes "King of Dominoes" is a play about a pro-independence patriarch in the mountains of Puerto Rico who battles to preserve the love of his youngest son and his family traditions and heritage, which are quickly fading against the lure of the modern world.

NIGHTMARES Brains are exciting, especially when you have had a stroke. Everything changes, having dreams and nightmares every night. You may be afraid but sometimes they can be like being in a movie.

THE APHASIAC MAN - A Play A year after my brain stroke with aphasia, I had to write again and this was my first work.

FORTUNE TELLER A short story about death and life, from my nightmares in Central Park.

THE FOG A fantasy story about an old couple who find youth in a Paradise called Eden.

MUSICIANS An essay about a bad singer who got ovations, encores and bravos - in his shower.

DUAL PURPOSE Black or white, negative or print, life or death.

MOUTH PIECE A comic short story in a boxing ring where Bil has to fight against Ali and Satchmo.

ALEXANDRE & ISADORA The erotic novel which I couldn't finish after writing two chapters when it got disconnected in an operation room.

THE APHASIAC WRITER Unfinished Manuscripts

PART III - PHOTOS

APHASIAC'S IMAGINATIONS Being unable to speak, write or read I went back to my thousand photos and slides, I made my brain to get back to work through pictures.

FROM A CHILD TO AN ADULT Bil from 1951 to 2001

MY PARENTS AND THOSE IN HEAVEN My parents, siblings and those who passed away.

BORIQUEN
A Photo History of Puerto Rico

PART IV - LINKS

These are links for aneurysms, brain strokes and aphasia where you may be able to get more information and of course my email addresses:

Bilway@worldnet.att.net
- or - Aphasiac@worldnet.att.net

LINKS

Aphasia Group

What is an aneurysm?

Healthopedia for Strokes and Aphasia

Stroke Survivors

National Aphasia Association

Hope for Aphasiacs

Brain Injury Association USA

Chat Room for brain injuries
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